On closures

I had an interesting conversation with a client of mine the other day on the importance of having a proper “closure” so she can move on in her life. As you can tell, the conversation was deep and exploratory, yet immensely satisfying for the both of us. It also got me thinking about the “closures” that I’ve sought in my own life and the ones that my near and dear ones have experienced.

Interestingly, I also realised that we don’t usually talk or think about “closures” all that often, despite it being such an important part of our lives and who we are as beings. And I wonder why is that so? Upon deeper reflection, it became clear that almost all closures are painful in someway or the other. People don’t like to delve or think about the uncomfortable stuff. They’ve got better alternatives — ignorance and diversion — that work so well to keep them happy and engaged, if only for a brief while.

I don’t think it’s possible for us to ignore, divert, or dodge closures forever. One of these days, it’ll catch up with you and pin you down. Why? Because it’s nature’s way of bookending a phase, episode, or aspect of your life. That’s the reason you have to seek a therapist to address the unresolved issues from your past that influencing your current behavioural pattern. It is precisely why after losing their loved ones people visit holy places. Heck, if you’ve ever been in a relationship and it went astray, I can bet my life on this, you’re still thinking about it right now.

Why? There wasn’t any closure at all. As spiritual beings, we can’t help but seek closure to be able to let go, and live a fulfilled life. And the sooner you address it, the better. The longer you wait, the graver the pain of regret and loss feels. Of course, you don’t seek closure to end it for good. In fact, it’s common to have two people resolve their differences and enter into a new relationship with a new meaning or perhaps, even a deeper relationships than it used to be in the past.

And sometimes, it’s just hopeless but that is okay. At least you got to bookend an important chapter of your life. You’re at peace with yourself and can move on, for real. We call it progress in the journey of life.