Categories
Coaching Leadership

Adding too much value

A classic problem that almost every successful and competent leader has is this overwhelming desire to add their two cents to every discussion. And I mean every-single-discussion. It’s damn irritating. I know because I used to be one of them. The challenge with accomplished leaders (and you will see a lot of this among military […]

Categories
Business Coaching Leadership

Making destructive comments

Destructive comments are the cutting, sarcastic comments we let fly with or without intention. They serve no other purpose than to put people down, hurt them, or assert themselves as “superior.” They are different from comments that add too much value. This type of comment adds nothing but pain. Are you making destructive comments? It’s […]

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Coaching Leadership

Passing Judgement

It’s easy for leaders to fall into the trap of rating others and imposing their standards on others. What starts with some helpful ‘opinions’ usually morphs into targeted judgment. Don’t believe me? Well, have you ever expressed approval or disapproval about something or someone? If the answer’s yes, that’s judgment, my friend. It’s much different […]

Categories
Coaching Human Resources Leadership Personal growth

Winning too much

I once asked my friend about his “greatest weakness”, if any. And he coyly mentioned “winning too much” and how it has ruined many relationships in the past. Of course, that got me curious, and I encouraged him to elaborate further. He mentioned how competitive he’s been all his life and how that streak set […]

Categories
Business Coaching Leadership

Refusing to express regret

Regardless of who and where you are as a leader, refusing to admit that we’re wrong or take responsibility for our actions is one of the most destructive interpersonal flaws. And that because for most people expressing regret or apologising is a painstakingly tricky experience. Why? Because they think it’s akin to losing a contest. […]

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Coaching Leadership

Making excuses

I don’t know of any other talent that comes naturally to all human beings as making excuses. It’s something that we pick up; maybe from our parents, who picked it up from theirs, and so on. I don’t know the genesis of how we came about mastering this art, but there are simply no excuses […]

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Coaching Leadership

Claiming credit that we do not deserve

One of the most super-annoying habits is to overestimate one’s contribution to any team’s successes. Even if you genuinely believe you saved the day, chances are, you didn’t do it all by yourself. There are exceptions, of course, but let’s not go there for now. Instead, try this exercise: a) For one day, take a […]

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Coaching Leadership

Failing to give proper recognition

Not giving proper recognition for a job well done is the most basic and common form of disrespect and rude behaviour within organizations. Yet we see it all the time. The sad part is that not all leaders do it unintentionally. Most don’t do it because it’s “not their style” or it doesn’t feel like […]

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Coaching Leadership

Withholding information

Regardless of what most people think — intentionally withholding information rarely does any good. And while leaders who practice this intend to gain power or maintain some advantage over others (the ones with whom they don’t want to share the information), rarely does it achieve the desired effect. For all we know, it ends up […]

Categories
Coaching Leadership

Starting with “No,” “But,” or “However”

If failing to communication is one of the biggest mistakes of leaders, starting with a “no,” “but,” or “however” is anathema. Now, we may not think much while slipping these words in our day-to-day conversations, but they act like subtle qualifiers that say, “I’m right, you’re wrong.” And the messaging doesn’t change regardless of the […]